i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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