Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
