I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
