That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
