I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The feeling are messing with the penis
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I know her cup size but not her name....
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