im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
