jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
