There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Four minutes until I can fart!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
