If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Ketchup is God's man juice
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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