so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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