i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
