is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
