It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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