you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
