ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We're too hungover to prance.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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