so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
