yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
