I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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