you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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