I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Pants are for mortals
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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