Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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