was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
