I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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