I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
