i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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