You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
