I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
