I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
