Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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