Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
