He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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