so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
