So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
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I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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