You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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