he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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