There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
