I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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