Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
