if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
