worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
