dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
