3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
