census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
