It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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