So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
