Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
