She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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