so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
