i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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