i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
