At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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