I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
