ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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