We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
