Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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