The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
