i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
