fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
