and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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