Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
