the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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