Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
