Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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