try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
