He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
