I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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