I could have mohawked her pubes.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize