The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
