they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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